When you have cried out all your tears
Let mine wash away the sorrow
And when you've screamed out all your fears
Let me help you face tomorrow
When you can find no hope
When it seems you just can't cope
I will be there for you
For that's what mother's do
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Telling, and improving, stories
I recently ran across a line in a book called Metaphors in Psychotherapy (by Henry Close) that said, "If a story is worth telling, it is worth improving upon." What an amazing thought... it took my mind immediately to Dr. Suess' great, but in my opinion, woefully underlooked book, And To Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street.
Perhaps you remember the story. A young boy is exhorted by his father to pay careful attention to all that he sees as he walks home from school, and to report to him everything that he saw. Walking down the street, he notices a horse and wagon, but that doesn't seem like much to him, so he imagines telling his father that the wagon was being pulled by a zebra...then that seems a little too tame... and before you know it, an entire circus parade is making its way down Mulberry Street.
I love letting my imagination run wild. Thinking of all the things that could be, not necessarily what should be, is a thrill to me. That plain horse and wagon, oh my goodness, wouldn't it be better if it was a circus train? That boring meeting at work? Wouldn't it be better if it was an international summit on world peace? That ham and cheese sandwich? In my imagination it's cordon bleu.
Imagination, improving on the story, is the driving force behind all human achievements. I think that all great inventors play a game with themselves called, "I wonder what would happen if...", then they proceed to find out. Poets and writers can take a simple everyday event or emotion and make it into something extraordinary by imagining different ways to tell the story.
And yes, I'm sure you knew I would get around to it eventually... telling the stories of our lives is a very imaginative process... and one that can bring great healing. But it's even better, if in the telling of the story, we improve upon it. Perhaps in this telling, we ascribe nobler motives to other people's actions, perhaps in this telling we had just the right words to say, or we behaved much better. Perhaps in the version we were wiser, or more courageous. Perhaps in this telling we are much wittier, or much more at ease in a variety of situations. Perhaps this telling motivates us to make the improved version our story, to make the changes in our lives that we know we need to make.
One word of warning, however. When telling, and living, the improved version of our lives, don't forget the good parts of the original story. Don't leave out the wonderful, ordinary "horse and wagon" parts of the story, for it in those parts of the story that we can have the most extraordinary joy.
Perhaps you remember the story. A young boy is exhorted by his father to pay careful attention to all that he sees as he walks home from school, and to report to him everything that he saw. Walking down the street, he notices a horse and wagon, but that doesn't seem like much to him, so he imagines telling his father that the wagon was being pulled by a zebra...then that seems a little too tame... and before you know it, an entire circus parade is making its way down Mulberry Street.
I love letting my imagination run wild. Thinking of all the things that could be, not necessarily what should be, is a thrill to me. That plain horse and wagon, oh my goodness, wouldn't it be better if it was a circus train? That boring meeting at work? Wouldn't it be better if it was an international summit on world peace? That ham and cheese sandwich? In my imagination it's cordon bleu.
Imagination, improving on the story, is the driving force behind all human achievements. I think that all great inventors play a game with themselves called, "I wonder what would happen if...", then they proceed to find out. Poets and writers can take a simple everyday event or emotion and make it into something extraordinary by imagining different ways to tell the story.
And yes, I'm sure you knew I would get around to it eventually... telling the stories of our lives is a very imaginative process... and one that can bring great healing. But it's even better, if in the telling of the story, we improve upon it. Perhaps in this telling, we ascribe nobler motives to other people's actions, perhaps in this telling we had just the right words to say, or we behaved much better. Perhaps in the version we were wiser, or more courageous. Perhaps in this telling we are much wittier, or much more at ease in a variety of situations. Perhaps this telling motivates us to make the improved version our story, to make the changes in our lives that we know we need to make.
One word of warning, however. When telling, and living, the improved version of our lives, don't forget the good parts of the original story. Don't leave out the wonderful, ordinary "horse and wagon" parts of the story, for it in those parts of the story that we can have the most extraordinary joy.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Fairy Tales and Hypnotherapy
Once upon a time... they lived happily ever after.
With these two phrases we immediately know that the story we are about to hear is a fairy tale. And the phrase "fairy tale" has come to mean that the events of the story are not compatible with life in the "real world." Yet like the creation stories we talked about in my last post, fairy tales have great therapeutic value, especially when the telling of them is combined with hypnosis.
Fairy tales follow a fairly typical outline. The hero or heroine is introduced, and almost immediately faces a problem. They then find a unique solution to the problem, and with a little help from their friends, and fairy godmothers, they overcome the problem to live happily, and one assumes, successfully, ever after.
The unique solution that our heroes find to their problems often involve a clever mixture of brains and positive character traits that allow us to find our own metaphors in the story, and apply them to ourselves, and, in skillfully telling the story, our clients.
Metaphors are best understood emotionally, and hypnosis gives us a direct line to the emotions. This potent blend of hypnosis and storytelling gives us a recipe for modifying our behavior for the more positive outcomes we desire.
One of my favorite fairy tales has always been The Three Little Pigs. I'm sure you know the story, but let me tell it to you my version anyway.
The Three Little Pigs
Once upon time there were three little pigs, brother pigs actually. They had a wonderful life on the farm, a great sty to play in, warm mushy slop tossed into their trough every day by the kind farmer who owned the farm, mud to roll in, and a soft bed of hay in the barns at night to sleep in. The pigs names were Marty, Mikey, and Joe. You may think these were uncommon names for pigs, and so they were, but the kind farmer really thought that Porky, Oinky, and Bacon were too obvious.
Ahhhh yes, it was a pigs life for Marty, Mikey, and Joe... why they had nothing to do all day but to roll in the mud, eat slop, and oink amongst themselves. But one day, while they were rolling in the muck, Marty began to wonder aloud about what the world was like beyond the confines of the farm. And the more he wondered, the more Mikey and Joe got drawn into the conversation, and soon their speculations became dissatisfaction with the home they had, and a desire to go out and conquer the world at large. So they packed their bags and set off.
At first it was a lot of fun being on their own. They wandered around the world singing and joking and doing, well, whatever it is that pigs do to have fun. But soon, they found that they wanted to settle down, and well, to be honest, all this brotherly togetherness was getting just a bit much for them to handle. So they found a nice large forest, and decided to build homes for themselves, places that would reflect their individual personalities, and give them some time away from their brothers, yet close enough to visit when they wanted.
Now Joe was the youngest of the three pigs, and he was also the laziest. He wanted his house to go up quickly, and so he decided his house would not only have a thatch roof, he would build the entire house from straw. So he carefully built a small house from straw, and moved right in.
Mikey was the middle pig, and he thought his brother was just a little foolish for building a house of straw, where a hungry pig might be tempted to eat the walls, but he loved his brother, and so he said nothing. But he wanted a sturdier home, so he built his house of twigs. He considered logs, but those were heavy, and would have required too much lifting. He carefully constructed his twig home, and moved right in.
Marty was the oldest and wisest of the three pigs. While it had been his idea to move out into the world in the first place, he remembered the lovely little brick home the kind farmer had built for his family, and decided that he would honor that memory by building his house of bricks. So although it took much longer to build his house, he knew that it would be worth effort in the end, as his home would keep him warmer in the winter. Once his house was finished, he also moved in.
Now that the three brothers had their own homes, they were happy. They continued to explore the world around them during the day, and in the evenings they had wonderful times together sitting around and telling stories of their earlier adventures. And when the time came to rest for the night, each of the little pigs went off to their own home to sleep.
One dark and dreary evening, after each of the pigs had retired to their own home, a hungry wolf stumbled across their clearing with the three little houses, and all of a sudden found himself with a craving for some pork. Now wolves don't tend to be the friendliest creatures in the forest, but this wolf had at least enough manners to knock before he went in to dinner. "Little pig, little pig let me in," he called out as he knocked on the door of Joe's straw house. And while Joe might have been lazy in constructing his house, he was no dummy, and he knew that hungry wolves and little pigs made a bad combination, especially for the pig, so he replied, "Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin." The wolf was upset by this rather unwelcoming response, and so he got all huffy, and said, "Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in." Joe had no doubt that the wolf could do this, and so he called out again, "Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin", all the while heading for the back door where he could slip out unnoticed.
Well this answer made the wolf really mad, and so he took a deep breath, and he just let it rip. He huffed and he puffed and that straw house went flying so fast that for a moment he couldn't see anything but straw. But when the straw cleared, what he didn't see was Joe. No little pig for dinner after all that hard work made him angry, but it also made him hungrier. So he turned his attention elsewhere.
'Aha... a house made of twigs. That should be easy enough,' he thought, 'and besides, the pig who lives in that house will be even more frightened now that he's seen what I can do with my huffing and puffing. He will let me right in and I will have a nice pork dinner.'
What that wolf didn't count on was that Joe had made it to Mikey's little twig house while he was still huffing and puffing down Joe's straw house. So those two little pigs had banded together and when the wolf came knocking on their door, with his oh so polite request, "Little pig, little pig, let me in," they called out in unison, "Not by the hair on our chinny chin chins." Well, the wolf was no dummy, and he wasn't about to let them escape to through the back door this time, so as he circled around to the back of the twig house, he called out, "Then I'll huff and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down," and proceeded to do just that... as the Joe and Mikey, who may have had a few bad moments as home builders, walked right out the front door and hoofed it over to Marty's place.
So when the wolf drew in that deep breath, and then let it out in a giant whoosh, the twigs on Mikey's house began to shift and shudder, and with a second deep, deep breath, and another humongous whoosh the twigs began to fly and that house collapsed like, well, like a pile of twigs. But when it all settled and the wolf went to collect his dinner, there were no little pigs to be found. 'This is not a good day for bacon,' thought the wolf, as he looked around the clearing at the pile of straw and the pile of twigs, until finally his eyes landed on the brick house belonging to Marty.
Convinced by now that it was his right to eat the pigs for dinner, the wolf sauntered over to Marty's place. He was getting wiser now, so he carefully put snares outside each of the little houses doors so that if they tried to escape they would run right into the traps. Then once again, he knocked, and said so politely, "Little pig, little pig, let me in." But Marty and his brothers, secure in the little brick house, called back, "Not by the hair on our chinny chin chins." And so without even asking again, the wolf drew in a deep breath, filling his lungs as much as he could, and "Whooooooooooooooossssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" he let that breath out just as hard and fast as he could, and... nothing happened. He could hear those pigs inside making jokes about the draft, but not even one of those bricks jiggled a bit. So he took a second deep breath, really filling his lungs, and "Whhhhhoooossssssshhhh" he let it out again, and once again, nothing happened. 'Well gosh,' he thought, 'I would have to be able to blow a hurricane to blow this house down, so I guess it's time to switch to plan B.'
Plan B was to do his imitation of Santa Claus and slide right down the chimney. But while a jolly old elf bearing candy and gifts would have been welcome any time at Marty's house, a wolf set on eating Marty and his brothers wasn't. And Marty pretty much figured that the chimney was the only entrance to the place that wasn't booby trapped by this point, so while the wolf set off in search of a ladder, Marty built a little fire in the fireplace, and placed a stew pot over the fire. He tossed in a few vegetables, and some nice spices from his pantry, then he and his brothers sat back, sang a few songs, and waited for the soup to cook.
Back comes the wolf, with a nice big ladder, which he sets up along side the little brick house. He climbs up on the roof, quiet as can be, because he knows by now that the element of surprise is going to be crucial to getting his pork chops for dinner. Slowly and stealthily he crawls across the roof, and then gently lowers himself down the chimney, right into the pot of stew that the pigs had prepared for dinner. The three pigs slam the lid on the stew pot so he can't escape, and let him simmer for 2 hours, before enjoying their first original recipe, Wolf Stew.
What Does That Have To Do With Therapy?
Good question. The story of the three pigs includes several themes that may be important for a therapist and client to consider during their sessions. The importance of home and family is one such theme, as is the need for independence and adventure. Moving out and pursuing a goal is something that all of us can relate to. Putting in the extra effort to do a quality job is another as the three little pigs discovered. Recognizing danger, even when it knocks politely is a skill that we can learn through this story, and the ability to out think our enemy (the presenting problem in therapeutic talk) is in fact the goal of all therapeutic sessions. As a story telling therapist, I add asides into the story when I think the client might gain from them, but I just as often let their own subconscious mind make the connection between the story and their situation. I may ask the client which character they identify with most, hypnosis is a good medium for this because it helps to filter out the self-serving conscious mind which always wants to associate with the hero.
Sometimes, I feel like Joe. I have a goal, and I want to get to it as quickly as possible. But my rush means that my efforts aren't the best they could be, and soon enough, the goal I thought I had accomplished come swirling down around me like a house of straw. Sometimes, I feel like Mikey, fully aware that I have to put a little more effort into reaching my dream, but still not quite willing to go all the way. Or Marty, who worked so hard putting all his efforts to reach his dream, only to find out that didn't mean that someone wouldn't come along and try to destroy his dreams. And have you ever felt like that wolf, frustrated at every turn by the pigs he was trying to capture?
I might take elements of the story and add some "wondering" thoughts regarding a client's situation. For example, I might wonder how Marty might have felt when his brothers showed up, their homes destroyed, and asked him for shelter. I might point out that Marty had the stew boiling long before the wolf climbed the ladder to the roof, and remind my client that their subconscious mind has been "stewing on" the solution to their problem long before it became such an immediate concern, and that they can now draw on the answer it has provided.
By experiencing this stories in hypnosis, rather than just discussing them intellectually, clients begin to discover their own inner strengths as they relate to, and overcome, the big bad wolves in their lives.Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Tell Me a Story, Part 2
So, we've looked at how our own personal stories can help us to gain our identity, but what about "fiction." What can we learn about ourselves from the fictional stories of others? I believe that every story teaches us something about ourselves, we only have to look for it.
Often times when I am reading a novel, a line will jump out at me, and force me to slow down long enough to digest what is really being said. One such quote comes from an excellent book called People of the Nightland, by Michael Gear and Kathleen O'Neal Gear.
"The spring itself was a curious thing. In summer, as Loon Lake to the west rose, the spring's flow increased, only to slow to a dribble by the end of winter. As a result, his people made offerings, dropping sprigs of evergreen into the pool as the flow diminished.
He, too, participated in making his offerings to the water even after he had surmised that it was the lake level rather than their need that determined the flow. Sometimes he wondered if his practical bent lessened the magic that others seemed so intent to enjoy."
Notice that this observation is one that any one of us could have made. Surely there are times in each of our lives when we feel our practical bent lessening the magic that others seem so intent to enjoy. Yet having made that observation, how many of us gloss right over it, and go on living as if that particular truth has no impact on us, and how many of us will actually slow down and try to find the magic in our lives.
Sometimes I will tell a story to a client in hypnosis in the hope that their subconscious mind will draw the connection between that particular story and their current situation. I may also utilize stories in the hope that the client will identify with a particular character and discover the way their own strengths parallel that of the character in the story. Fairy tales are especially good ways to help clients discover their own inner resourcefulness and ability for change. I'll talk more about that next time.
Often times when I am reading a novel, a line will jump out at me, and force me to slow down long enough to digest what is really being said. One such quote comes from an excellent book called People of the Nightland, by Michael Gear and Kathleen O'Neal Gear.
"The spring itself was a curious thing. In summer, as Loon Lake to the west rose, the spring's flow increased, only to slow to a dribble by the end of winter. As a result, his people made offerings, dropping sprigs of evergreen into the pool as the flow diminished.
He, too, participated in making his offerings to the water even after he had surmised that it was the lake level rather than their need that determined the flow. Sometimes he wondered if his practical bent lessened the magic that others seemed so intent to enjoy."
Notice that this observation is one that any one of us could have made. Surely there are times in each of our lives when we feel our practical bent lessening the magic that others seem so intent to enjoy. Yet having made that observation, how many of us gloss right over it, and go on living as if that particular truth has no impact on us, and how many of us will actually slow down and try to find the magic in our lives.
Sometimes I will tell a story to a client in hypnosis in the hope that their subconscious mind will draw the connection between that particular story and their current situation. I may also utilize stories in the hope that the client will identify with a particular character and discover the way their own strengths parallel that of the character in the story. Fairy tales are especially good ways to help clients discover their own inner resourcefulness and ability for change. I'll talk more about that next time.
Tell Me a Story
So how is it exactly that stories and hypnosis work together?
One of the first requests that a child makes to his or her parents is "Tell me a story." Children enjoy stories because they help them to make sense out of the world. Today, I'm going to look at one form of story that children love to hear, the autobiographical story.
"Tell me the story about...." the day I was born, how you and daddy met, what it was like when you were little, the list is really endless. These stories are important to children because they help them to identify themselves as loved (therefore loveable)and a part of a family (belonging), and gives them a history of themselves that extends beyond their lifetime. The details and emotions we bring to these stories as we tell them to our children enrich their lives by meeting these basic needs of identity. Creation stories, as Dr. Lewis Mehl-Madrona calls them in his excellent book, Coyote Wisdom, help us to define who we are and how we got to where we are.
These stories are not just journalistic reportings of fact, but are filled with the emotion of the events as well. And in fact, all stories are simply the teller's interpretation of the events, filtered through their emotional perceptions. As one writer put it, "The King died. Then the queen died.", is a historical reporting of fact. "The King died. The the queen died of a broken heart.", now that's a story.
When a creation story is told well, both the teller and the listener can literally relive the events, feeling the full emotion that was present originally. And thus the same series of historical events can generate myriad stories, for each person present attaches their own interpretation, emotions, and meaning to the story... interpretations, emotions, and meaning which change with each telling of the story.
In hypnotic regression, we allow the client to explore their own creation stories... the story of how the issue they are currently dealing with began. We ask them to review their stories, with a special focus on how the interpretation, emotions, and meanings of those stories has led them to where they are today. We invite them to rewrite their stories, much like the choose your own adventure books I spoke of in an earlier post, in an effort to change, not the facts of the story, but the impact those interpretations, emotions, and meanings have had on their lives. We ask them to envision alternate interpretations, to add to those stories the wisdom and knowledge they have now that they didn't have then, and to rewrite the ending of those stories to a healthier function in their lives.
By way of example, let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time, a long long time ago, when I was very young, I had 2 big sisters that I looked up to very much. I thought they were the prettiest and smartest and best big sisters that anyone could ever have. But sometimes, they weren't very nice to me. And most of the time when they weren't nice to me, it was because I had a problem. You see, when I went to sleep at night, I wet the bed. Now most of the time, this wasn't a problem for my sisters, but sometimes we had to share a bed, and then it really became a problem for them. And they would grumble because the sheets were wet, and they would grumble even more because after I wet the bed, I would roll over, and push them towards the wet spot while I continued to blissfully sleep on nice dry sheets. And when my sisters grumbled, they sometimes called me names like "Baby" which wasn't nice at all for a big girl of 5 years old. Then one day, my mom heard them teasing me and calling me "Baby" and she told them to stop that. She told them it wasn't my fault that I wet the bed, that I was sleeping so soundly that I didn't know I had to use the bathroom. She told them to stop teasing me, and making me feel bad.
And I guess they did. Because I don't remember ever wetting the bed again after that. But what I do remember is this. I stopped sleeping soundly too. Years passed, and this one little comment from my mother slipped firmly into my subconscious memories and was never thought of again. And then one day, I decided that I was tired of being tired all the time. I wanted to be able to lay down in my bed, and go to sleep. I wanted to be able to sleep all night long. And I didn't know why I couldn't do those things. So I went to a hypnotist, and through the process of regression, I heard this story again, and this time I chose a different ending.
For my big sisters, the problem was that I wet the bed. For me the problem was their teasing me. So my mind very rapidly came up with what seemed at the time like a most excellent idea: Easy solution to the problem of getting picked on... don't sleep soundly... therefore don't wet the bed... therefore don't get picked on.
Unfortunately, this solution was never meant to be a long term solution. As an adult with insomnia, I needed to rewrite that story in order to truly experience a good night's sleep. So this is what I did. I had that grown up part of me that wanted to sleep better have a little talk with that little girl part of me that didn't want to be teased. I shared with her my new knowledge (new to her anyway) that my body always knew exactly when it had to use the bathroom, even if I was asleep, and I could get up and go to the bathroom anytime I needed to. I shared with her that I could sleep as soundly as I wanted to, and I never needed to worry about wetting the bed again. I chose my own adventure, and in doing so rewrote the ending to the story. I now sleep soundly at night (and to be honest at nap time too), I don't wet the bed, and it's been a long long time since my pretty and smart big sisters teased me for that.
So now, when my children or grandchildren ask me to tell them "the story about when you used to wet the bed" I can add all my grown up wisdom to that story. The facts don't change, just the interpretation.
One of the first requests that a child makes to his or her parents is "Tell me a story." Children enjoy stories because they help them to make sense out of the world. Today, I'm going to look at one form of story that children love to hear, the autobiographical story.
"Tell me the story about...." the day I was born, how you and daddy met, what it was like when you were little, the list is really endless. These stories are important to children because they help them to identify themselves as loved (therefore loveable)and a part of a family (belonging), and gives them a history of themselves that extends beyond their lifetime. The details and emotions we bring to these stories as we tell them to our children enrich their lives by meeting these basic needs of identity. Creation stories, as Dr. Lewis Mehl-Madrona calls them in his excellent book, Coyote Wisdom, help us to define who we are and how we got to where we are.
These stories are not just journalistic reportings of fact, but are filled with the emotion of the events as well. And in fact, all stories are simply the teller's interpretation of the events, filtered through their emotional perceptions. As one writer put it, "The King died. Then the queen died.", is a historical reporting of fact. "The King died. The the queen died of a broken heart.", now that's a story.
When a creation story is told well, both the teller and the listener can literally relive the events, feeling the full emotion that was present originally. And thus the same series of historical events can generate myriad stories, for each person present attaches their own interpretation, emotions, and meaning to the story... interpretations, emotions, and meaning which change with each telling of the story.
In hypnotic regression, we allow the client to explore their own creation stories... the story of how the issue they are currently dealing with began. We ask them to review their stories, with a special focus on how the interpretation, emotions, and meanings of those stories has led them to where they are today. We invite them to rewrite their stories, much like the choose your own adventure books I spoke of in an earlier post, in an effort to change, not the facts of the story, but the impact those interpretations, emotions, and meanings have had on their lives. We ask them to envision alternate interpretations, to add to those stories the wisdom and knowledge they have now that they didn't have then, and to rewrite the ending of those stories to a healthier function in their lives.
By way of example, let me tell you a story.
Once upon a time, a long long time ago, when I was very young, I had 2 big sisters that I looked up to very much. I thought they were the prettiest and smartest and best big sisters that anyone could ever have. But sometimes, they weren't very nice to me. And most of the time when they weren't nice to me, it was because I had a problem. You see, when I went to sleep at night, I wet the bed. Now most of the time, this wasn't a problem for my sisters, but sometimes we had to share a bed, and then it really became a problem for them. And they would grumble because the sheets were wet, and they would grumble even more because after I wet the bed, I would roll over, and push them towards the wet spot while I continued to blissfully sleep on nice dry sheets. And when my sisters grumbled, they sometimes called me names like "Baby" which wasn't nice at all for a big girl of 5 years old. Then one day, my mom heard them teasing me and calling me "Baby" and she told them to stop that. She told them it wasn't my fault that I wet the bed, that I was sleeping so soundly that I didn't know I had to use the bathroom. She told them to stop teasing me, and making me feel bad.
And I guess they did. Because I don't remember ever wetting the bed again after that. But what I do remember is this. I stopped sleeping soundly too. Years passed, and this one little comment from my mother slipped firmly into my subconscious memories and was never thought of again. And then one day, I decided that I was tired of being tired all the time. I wanted to be able to lay down in my bed, and go to sleep. I wanted to be able to sleep all night long. And I didn't know why I couldn't do those things. So I went to a hypnotist, and through the process of regression, I heard this story again, and this time I chose a different ending.
For my big sisters, the problem was that I wet the bed. For me the problem was their teasing me. So my mind very rapidly came up with what seemed at the time like a most excellent idea: Easy solution to the problem of getting picked on... don't sleep soundly... therefore don't wet the bed... therefore don't get picked on.
Unfortunately, this solution was never meant to be a long term solution. As an adult with insomnia, I needed to rewrite that story in order to truly experience a good night's sleep. So this is what I did. I had that grown up part of me that wanted to sleep better have a little talk with that little girl part of me that didn't want to be teased. I shared with her my new knowledge (new to her anyway) that my body always knew exactly when it had to use the bathroom, even if I was asleep, and I could get up and go to the bathroom anytime I needed to. I shared with her that I could sleep as soundly as I wanted to, and I never needed to worry about wetting the bed again. I chose my own adventure, and in doing so rewrote the ending to the story. I now sleep soundly at night (and to be honest at nap time too), I don't wet the bed, and it's been a long long time since my pretty and smart big sisters teased me for that.
So now, when my children or grandchildren ask me to tell them "the story about when you used to wet the bed" I can add all my grown up wisdom to that story. The facts don't change, just the interpretation.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
The Stories of our Lives
I love stories. For as long as I can remember, my fascination with stories has been a major part of my life. From the stories and poems my dad read me before I was old enough to read for myself, to the novels of today, I've seldom met a story I haven't enjoyed.
One of the story telling genres I always liked was the "campfire story" where a story was begun and then each person at the campfire added to the story. I always tried to anticipate where one storyteller would end, and the next one would pick up. But it was even more fun to try to guess where the story would end.
A variation on this genre is the "Create your own adventure" books that were popular in the 1980's and 90's. In this genre, the reader helped to create the story by making choices at the bottom of each page. If the reader chose A, he/she would be instructed to turn to page 47, if B, page 58. I liked this method of storytelling because it seemed to me that the reader not only became more involved in the story, but because it showed the link between our choices and the outcomes we experienced.
Hypnotherapy utilizes a similar process. Regression work helps our clients to see the choices they have made in the past, choices that often were made subconsciously, and to recognize the impact of those choices in their lives. Future progression helps them to see the different outcomes they can recognize by making different choices.
Writing the stories of our lives. Living the adventure as we go along. That's what hypnotherapy is all about.
One of the story telling genres I always liked was the "campfire story" where a story was begun and then each person at the campfire added to the story. I always tried to anticipate where one storyteller would end, and the next one would pick up. But it was even more fun to try to guess where the story would end.
A variation on this genre is the "Create your own adventure" books that were popular in the 1980's and 90's. In this genre, the reader helped to create the story by making choices at the bottom of each page. If the reader chose A, he/she would be instructed to turn to page 47, if B, page 58. I liked this method of storytelling because it seemed to me that the reader not only became more involved in the story, but because it showed the link between our choices and the outcomes we experienced.
Hypnotherapy utilizes a similar process. Regression work helps our clients to see the choices they have made in the past, choices that often were made subconsciously, and to recognize the impact of those choices in their lives. Future progression helps them to see the different outcomes they can recognize by making different choices.
Writing the stories of our lives. Living the adventure as we go along. That's what hypnotherapy is all about.
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