Once upon a time... they lived happily ever after.
With these two phrases we immediately know that the story we are about to hear is a fairy tale. And the phrase "fairy tale" has come to mean that the events of the story are not compatible with life in the "real world." Yet like the creation stories we talked about in my last post, fairy tales have great therapeutic value, especially when the telling of them is combined with hypnosis.
Fairy tales follow a fairly typical outline. The hero or heroine is introduced, and almost immediately faces a problem. They then find a unique solution to the problem, and with a little help from their friends, and fairy godmothers, they overcome the problem to live happily, and one assumes, successfully, ever after.
The unique solution that our heroes find to their problems often involve a clever mixture of brains and positive character traits that allow us to find our own metaphors in the story, and apply them to ourselves, and, in skillfully telling the story, our clients.
Metaphors are best understood emotionally, and hypnosis gives us a direct line to the emotions. This potent blend of hypnosis and storytelling gives us a recipe for modifying our behavior for the more positive outcomes we desire.
One of my favorite fairy tales has always been The Three Little Pigs. I'm sure you know the story, but let me tell it to you my version anyway.
The Three Little Pigs
Once upon time there were three little pigs, brother pigs actually. They had a wonderful life on the farm, a great sty to play in, warm mushy slop tossed into their trough every day by the kind farmer who owned the farm, mud to roll in, and a soft bed of hay in the barns at night to sleep in. The pigs names were Marty, Mikey, and Joe. You may think these were uncommon names for pigs, and so they were, but the kind farmer really thought that Porky, Oinky, and Bacon were too obvious.
Ahhhh yes, it was a pigs life for Marty, Mikey, and Joe... why they had nothing to do all day but to roll in the mud, eat slop, and oink amongst themselves. But one day, while they were rolling in the muck, Marty began to wonder aloud about what the world was like beyond the confines of the farm. And the more he wondered, the more Mikey and Joe got drawn into the conversation, and soon their speculations became dissatisfaction with the home they had, and a desire to go out and conquer the world at large. So they packed their bags and set off.
At first it was a lot of fun being on their own. They wandered around the world singing and joking and doing, well, whatever it is that pigs do to have fun. But soon, they found that they wanted to settle down, and well, to be honest, all this brotherly togetherness was getting just a bit much for them to handle. So they found a nice large forest, and decided to build homes for themselves, places that would reflect their individual personalities, and give them some time away from their brothers, yet close enough to visit when they wanted.
Now Joe was the youngest of the three pigs, and he was also the laziest. He wanted his house to go up quickly, and so he decided his house would not only have a thatch roof, he would build the entire house from straw. So he carefully built a small house from straw, and moved right in.
Mikey was the middle pig, and he thought his brother was just a little foolish for building a house of straw, where a hungry pig might be tempted to eat the walls, but he loved his brother, and so he said nothing. But he wanted a sturdier home, so he built his house of twigs. He considered logs, but those were heavy, and would have required too much lifting. He carefully constructed his twig home, and moved right in.
Marty was the oldest and wisest of the three pigs. While it had been his idea to move out into the world in the first place, he remembered the lovely little brick home the kind farmer had built for his family, and decided that he would honor that memory by building his house of bricks. So although it took much longer to build his house, he knew that it would be worth effort in the end, as his home would keep him warmer in the winter. Once his house was finished, he also moved in.
Now that the three brothers had their own homes, they were happy. They continued to explore the world around them during the day, and in the evenings they had wonderful times together sitting around and telling stories of their earlier adventures. And when the time came to rest for the night, each of the little pigs went off to their own home to sleep.
One dark and dreary evening, after each of the pigs had retired to their own home, a hungry wolf stumbled across their clearing with the three little houses, and all of a sudden found himself with a craving for some pork. Now wolves don't tend to be the friendliest creatures in the forest, but this wolf had at least enough manners to knock before he went in to dinner. "Little pig, little pig let me in," he called out as he knocked on the door of Joe's straw house. And while Joe might have been lazy in constructing his house, he was no dummy, and he knew that hungry wolves and little pigs made a bad combination, especially for the pig, so he replied, "Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin." The wolf was upset by this rather unwelcoming response, and so he got all huffy, and said, "Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in." Joe had no doubt that the wolf could do this, and so he called out again, "Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin", all the while heading for the back door where he could slip out unnoticed.
Well this answer made the wolf really mad, and so he took a deep breath, and he just let it rip. He huffed and he puffed and that straw house went flying so fast that for a moment he couldn't see anything but straw. But when the straw cleared, what he didn't see was Joe. No little pig for dinner after all that hard work made him angry, but it also made him hungrier. So he turned his attention elsewhere.
'Aha... a house made of twigs. That should be easy enough,' he thought, 'and besides, the pig who lives in that house will be even more frightened now that he's seen what I can do with my huffing and puffing. He will let me right in and I will have a nice pork dinner.'
What that wolf didn't count on was that Joe had made it to Mikey's little twig house while he was still huffing and puffing down Joe's straw house. So those two little pigs had banded together and when the wolf came knocking on their door, with his oh so polite request, "Little pig, little pig, let me in," they called out in unison, "Not by the hair on our chinny chin chins." Well, the wolf was no dummy, and he wasn't about to let them escape to through the back door this time, so as he circled around to the back of the twig house, he called out, "Then I'll huff and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down," and proceeded to do just that... as the Joe and Mikey, who may have had a few bad moments as home builders, walked right out the front door and hoofed it over to Marty's place.
So when the wolf drew in that deep breath, and then let it out in a giant whoosh, the twigs on Mikey's house began to shift and shudder, and with a second deep, deep breath, and another humongous whoosh the twigs began to fly and that house collapsed like, well, like a pile of twigs. But when it all settled and the wolf went to collect his dinner, there were no little pigs to be found. 'This is not a good day for bacon,' thought the wolf, as he looked around the clearing at the pile of straw and the pile of twigs, until finally his eyes landed on the brick house belonging to Marty.
Convinced by now that it was his right to eat the pigs for dinner, the wolf sauntered over to Marty's place. He was getting wiser now, so he carefully put snares outside each of the little houses doors so that if they tried to escape they would run right into the traps. Then once again, he knocked, and said so politely, "Little pig, little pig, let me in." But Marty and his brothers, secure in the little brick house, called back, "Not by the hair on our chinny chin chins." And so without even asking again, the wolf drew in a deep breath, filling his lungs as much as he could, and "Whooooooooooooooossssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" he let that breath out just as hard and fast as he could, and... nothing happened. He could hear those pigs inside making jokes about the draft, but not even one of those bricks jiggled a bit. So he took a second deep breath, really filling his lungs, and "Whhhhhoooossssssshhhh" he let it out again, and once again, nothing happened. 'Well gosh,' he thought, 'I would have to be able to blow a hurricane to blow this house down, so I guess it's time to switch to plan B.'
Plan B was to do his imitation of Santa Claus and slide right down the chimney. But while a jolly old elf bearing candy and gifts would have been welcome any time at Marty's house, a wolf set on eating Marty and his brothers wasn't. And Marty pretty much figured that the chimney was the only entrance to the place that wasn't booby trapped by this point, so while the wolf set off in search of a ladder, Marty built a little fire in the fireplace, and placed a stew pot over the fire. He tossed in a few vegetables, and some nice spices from his pantry, then he and his brothers sat back, sang a few songs, and waited for the soup to cook.
Back comes the wolf, with a nice big ladder, which he sets up along side the little brick house. He climbs up on the roof, quiet as can be, because he knows by now that the element of surprise is going to be crucial to getting his pork chops for dinner. Slowly and stealthily he crawls across the roof, and then gently lowers himself down the chimney, right into the pot of stew that the pigs had prepared for dinner. The three pigs slam the lid on the stew pot so he can't escape, and let him simmer for 2 hours, before enjoying their first original recipe, Wolf Stew.
What Does That Have To Do With Therapy?
Good question. The story of the three pigs includes several themes that may be important for a therapist and client to consider during their sessions. The importance of home and family is one such theme, as is the need for independence and adventure. Moving out and pursuing a goal is something that all of us can relate to. Putting in the extra effort to do a quality job is another as the three little pigs discovered. Recognizing danger, even when it knocks politely is a skill that we can learn through this story, and the ability to out think our enemy (the presenting problem in therapeutic talk) is in fact the goal of all therapeutic sessions. As a story telling therapist, I add asides into the story when I think the client might gain from them, but I just as often let their own subconscious mind make the connection between the story and their situation. I may ask the client which character they identify with most, hypnosis is a good medium for this because it helps to filter out the self-serving conscious mind which always wants to associate with the hero.
Sometimes, I feel like Joe. I have a goal, and I want to get to it as quickly as possible. But my rush means that my efforts aren't the best they could be, and soon enough, the goal I thought I had accomplished come swirling down around me like a house of straw. Sometimes, I feel like Mikey, fully aware that I have to put a little more effort into reaching my dream, but still not quite willing to go all the way. Or Marty, who worked so hard putting all his efforts to reach his dream, only to find out that didn't mean that someone wouldn't come along and try to destroy his dreams. And have you ever felt like that wolf, frustrated at every turn by the pigs he was trying to capture?
I might take elements of the story and add some "wondering" thoughts regarding a client's situation. For example, I might wonder how Marty might have felt when his brothers showed up, their homes destroyed, and asked him for shelter. I might point out that Marty had the stew boiling long before the wolf climbed the ladder to the roof, and remind my client that their subconscious mind has been "stewing on" the solution to their problem long before it became such an immediate concern, and that they can now draw on the answer it has provided.
By experiencing this stories in hypnosis, rather than just discussing them intellectually, clients begin to discover their own inner strengths as they relate to, and overcome, the big bad wolves in their lives.
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